This is the story of an intellectual journey. It starts with my enthusiastic embrace of the ideas of the French psychoanalyst, Jacques Lacan, and ends with my eventual rejection of those ideas, some five years later. Between those two events, I wrote a book about Lacan, which has since become a standard reference text for those working with Lacanian theory (Evans, 1996). Nowadays, eight years after the dictionary was published, I occasionally receive emails from puzzled Lacanians who have noticed that the author of one of the key reference books in their field has gone on to write other books with such obviously non-Lacanian titles as Introducing Evolutionary Psychology (Evans, 1999). The most interesting thing about these emails is not so much their content as their tone, which tends to be one of shock, dismay or anger that a former disciple should have betrayed the faith so completely. They may not use such religious references explicitly, but it is clear from their vexation that it is more than just an intellectual matter for these correspondents. They do notsee my change of mind as the result of an honest and sincere search for truth, but as a betrayal, an apostasy, a fall from grace. This essay is an attempt to go beyond such simplistic descriptions, and explain exactly how and why I came to change my mind.
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